I'm over the limit, I'm declined

Fucking bastard! I went to use my credit card today to pay for books and I was declined. What the hell? Those bastards! Fucking 250 dollar credit limit is bullshit to begin with. So what the hell am I supposed to do now? I have no money in my bank accounts, I have no credit, so what the hell am I going to do? My available credit is also cumulative from the last two and a half years, meaning I've spent less than 250 dollars on my CC and now I can't even get a fucking textbook. I had to wait in line to get ripped off in the first place, and when I got there, my credit card declined, so I waited in line for nothing whatsoever. I left the bookstore and now I'm in a computer lab in the library wondering how I am going to be able to go to my classes without books. So this just is another message from the universe that I shouldn't be here. Maybe that's what this whole thing is telling me. "Get the fuck out of there." Maybe I should because I sure as hell can't go to class without books. Not to mention that my financial aid still hasn't come in and they refuse to answer my calls or emails. There's only so much a guy can put up with right now. Why don't I go over there and give them a piece of my mind? No, what's the point? I worked for the last six months and almost all my income has gone away. This is ridiculous. If I wanted to blow all my money, I would have become a professional gambler. I'm going to have to sell my soul if this keeps up, or at least my conscience. Now I have a class at 3:00 without a book because I can't buy one, so I'm going to sit there like a moron and start crying or something. What's a guy gotta do to get free books and tuition? That's the question I should be asking myself. I figure all it will take is for me to ace all my classes, which is possible if I have all the books, but if I can't do that, then how am I supposed to afford this? I guess I'll have to put my kidney for auction up on eBay. I hear they pay $10,000 for one of those. At least then I'll be able to go to college, if not entirely healthy. But it all comes down to this: I could have waited another semester, but because of the whole health insurance issue which says in order for me to have health insurance I have to be enrolled in school full time, which eats up a lot of cash, but so does the health insurance, which probably would be cheaper than spending time here. Maybe this is a sign, though, that I may become the next Steve Jobs and not the next Steve Ballmer. Even though today is sort of a balmy day. LOL. Perhaps this is karma coming back at me for all the shit I pulled. I don't know. I was just having a good time back then and I really didn't intend to hurt anyone and I learned my lesson, mostly. It's almost as if there is a benevolent force working towards my dismissal from college for life. And if there is, I sure hope it's doing it for a good reason because I'm tired of fighting through all this bullshit that most people who attend here never have to go through. At least I keep my blog public. I don't hide my private thoughts like some people. The thing that's fucked up about criminal shit though is if you think about killing someone, it's not a crime, but if you say or write down that you are going to kill someone or that that particular person is going to die, then it's a crime. Fuck you, campus police and your terrible ways. I hate everyone and anyone who uses their job to get power over people to gratify their egos. Forget that stuff. Learn to be confident and you'll see a reprieve in the suffering of your confidence. Whatever. I have shit to do, like NOT buy books and NOT go to class and NOT... I'll let you fill in the blanks. Peace out you all.